No Notes

by Jonah

Gee, it seems like forever since I’ve wrote anything noteworthy. Not like I’ve had time to or anything. The last few weeks have seen me at school in class or rehearsal and home completing homework assignments or sleeping. Not much time for anything else, including eating.

But it’s all paid off. The play was great… well, after the first performance. The director was steaming mad after the first one. Fortunately, I was only in the processional in the first part, and so none of her notes (when she yells at us) had anything to do with me. We were supposed to have two performances a day for three days at 9 and 11 a.m. But the 11:00 performance (the one I was supposed to be in) was canceled on Wednesday, the first day. However, a school came anyway after receiving the wrong message, so we ended up doing a show for them too. I was told to go out and take care of the kids and teachers who had come until we were ready to seat them, so I was out there trying to entertain a hundred kids all by myself. Since it was unexpected, the same cast, except for Snow White, performed again. It turned out to be kind of a chance for everyone to redeem themselves.

On Thursday, the next day, my family, along with my grandfather, Nathan, and some other families Mom invited to come, came to see the play. It was my first performance as a dwarf. It went very well. I didn’t forget a single line, and I had a lot of fun. Dad videoed most of it. Afterward, a school that was planning to put on their own production of Snow White, stayed while we showed them how our special effects and make up worked. I caught up with Mrs. Murphree, the director, later and asked if she had any feedback f”or us since we didn’t have a chance to have a meeting after the show.

“You were wonderful,” she said. “I didn’t have any notes.”

Nathan was pretty impressed. “Y’all actually looked like dwarfs,” he said. My transformation into a dwarf was a complicated one. First, I had to put make up on: a base, eyeliner, natural lipstick, and lines under my eyes and around my cheeks to make me look old and fat. Next, I would put on my costume: red baggy pants, a huge light blue shirt, slipper-like brown shoes, lots of padding, and a belt. Then came the facial hair: spirit gum above my eyes and on my face followed by bushy eyebrows and a beard. The plastic nose was next; more spirit gum held that in place. Finally, I’d put up my hair in a stocking to keep it on my head and pull my droopy hat on after that. With a pick in my hand, I looked like a bona fide Bolshevik. My grandfather, who is a semi-professional actor, was impressed that I did all my make up myself.

After it was over, I came home and finished my Religion homework and took it to school. On my over there, I felt my car jerk as I was stopped at a stop light. I looked over and saw a big truck had backed into my right rear fender. I put the car in park and got out. A black man got out of the truck, shaking his head.

“I didn’t expect to bump into you today,” I said to him as he approached. I called the police and my parents and got all that straightened out. The man was pleasant as was the police officer who came. The man offered to take me up to a body shop nearby to get it fixed, but we waited until Dad got there. Dad worked out something with the man, and then we left. I finally got to the school, but all the offices were closed, and I couldn’t turn in my papers. So all that was for nothing.

That makes accident number 6. I had one in New Orleans in August when we went to the aquarium down there. Mom was directing me into a parking space, and I foolishly kept going when she told me to. I just scratched the other car a little bit. The parking lot security guard came over and said he wouldn’t worry about it, so we took his advice and didn’t. I guess that wasn’t really an accident.

So anyway, I’m through with the play until November 12 when Snow Worf and the seven dykes meet Santa Claus at the mall. Now I actually have free time! It’s a nice feeling.

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