Alas, there was no beer.

by Berck

I just talked Wifey into picking up a Louie’s pizza and beer. I used to make a pizza every Friday night. Now I have Wifey pick it up. Despite all the raves about my pizza, it tastes better when someone else makes it. Other folks don’t tend to make potato pizza though. I’ve considered resurrecting Friday pizza’s after acquiring (thanks, Mom!) the best book on pizza ever, but it hasn’t happened yet. I wonder if I’ll be happy with my pizza by the time I’m 90. Not that I’ll live that long.

So we’re headed to Highlands, NC tomorrow. I presented Jonah with a list of choices. Her first pick was Istanbul, but she wasn’t willing to take today off work, and the flights were booked Saturday. Highlands was her next pick. Strange list. I would have preferred London. There are a couple flights with over a hundred empty seats from JFK-LHR. Probably because they’re at the wrong freaking time. You don’t go leave NY for Europe in the morning so you can get there late at night, it just doesn’t work. Anyway, Jonah wanted Highlands, which I’m sure will be cheaper, even with the car rental. So, it was my idea, but she’s very excited about it. I’m sure I’ll be more excited when I actually get there. Mostly I was really excited when I had the idea that Ben and Amanda could meet us there, but since I’m incapable of planning anything in advance, and they’re somewhat more normal people, that didn’t work out.

I was going to shave this morning, since I can’t ride in the cockpit with a beard. The whole oxygen mask thing, or so they say. I think it has more to do with appearance. And I don’t get that. As my sim partner pointed out, airline pilot’s uniforms and titles and such all came from the naval industry. And a crusty old ship’s captain is *supposed* to have a beard! Anyway, I forgot, and I still haven’t. I’m not sure if I will or not. This is my last chance to have a beard for a long time, but on the off chance that there’s one seat left in a plane for Jonah and one seat in the cockpit for me, I don’t want to get left behind. This scenario, though unlikely, is possible.

I wanted to write about my xkcd shirt that says “Science it works, Bitches”. At this point in my life, I only own three T-shirts that actually have something on them. That one, my 557th Flying Training Squadron shirt, and an EFF T-shirt. I’m not sure what’s become of the rest. Like my “got root?” shirt. I really got tired of explaining that one, though the misery was worth it for the time I ran into the chick at a free concert in Atlanta with a “Chix dig Unix” shirt. Mostly now I just wear plain black shirts, since I have 10 of them, that being what I wore underneath my flight suit. (Well, before that we wore yellow shirts, so I’ve got a half-dozen of those as well, but given the choice between black and yellow, I pick black.)

I’ve already mentioned what happened one of the last times I wore the shirt. [It seems that I did not actually mention it, I just thought I did. And in retrospect, I don’t even think that was the day.] Though I wanted to, I don’t think I mentioned the reaction the shirt got at the Arby’s in St. Louis. The black guy behind the counter just loved it. “Yeah, man, Science… it works, BITCHES! That’s great!” The girl who took my order was smiling about it as well. When I relayed to Jonah that it was, unexpectedly, a hit at Arby’s, I realized how out of touch I am with the world. Jonah’s claim is that geeks like the shirt because of the unexpected juxtaposition of “Science” with lay-speak “Bitches”. I’m not sure this is the case–I like it because there seems to be some doubt among the less educated about whether or not science works, and this gives me an opportunity to proselytize for science. Anyway, Jonah thinks the folks at Arby’s liked it for the same reason: the strange juxtaposition. A dorky white guy, with a shirt that’s talking about science, but it’s got “Bitches!” on the end, which they can relate to.

But, there’s more. See, I didn’t really think much about the fact that the shirt has the word “bitches” on it, but it really bothers Joanna. I figured in today’s world, “bitches” on a shirt is hardly outlandish. I think you can even say, “Science, it works, bitches!” on TV.

(A side note. Todd has pointed out that the shirt needs another comma. I think I agree, but the the fact that SCIENCE is in big letters on its own line makes it not as noticeable. I could attack it with a white-out pen, but I worry about the result. It is, after all, my current favorite shirt.)

But Jonah thinks you have to be a little ballsy to wear the shirt in public. (Here I thought you had to be a little ballsy to wear a shirt with “Fuck This Court” written on it in the Supreme Court. (oh, wow, I love the internet. One can buy a whole assortment of Fuck This Court gear. Though they do ask that you don’t actually wear it to court, unless you’re willing to get charged with contempt. Sissies. I somehow doubt anyone’s going to be buying me one of those.) Anyway, she’s further convinced that the shirt attracts a certain sort of girl. I’m not sure quite how she put it. That it attracts the sort of girl who likes misogynists and is likely to wind up in an abusive relationship. I have a few problems with this statement: First, that there’s a type of girl who likes misogynists. I’ve had plenty of girls accuse me of misogyny, and I’m sure none of them have liked me because of it. I’m also not sure how Jonah determines that the girl who worked at the photography museum in Manhattan likes misogynists, or was attracted to me, just because my shirt said “bitches”. Or that the term “bitches” in that context is even remotely misogynistic.

Anyway, I dutifully explain the back of the shirt and the Cosmic Background Explorer data to anyone who comments on it. They don’t seem interested, even though they should be. Ahh well. I like that the shirt controversial, even though I had no idea it would be. I was also considering the “Stand back while I try science” one, which without the word “bitches” must be less controversial.

I think that in the name of social science, maybe I’ll get a shirt that simply says “bitches” on it and see what happens.

2 Responses to “Alas, there was no beer.”

  1. Kelsey Says:

    I love that shirt. Everytime I see it or see pictures from the wedding of you wearing it I giggle. I don’t think I ever told you that the PGA resort and spa has strict dress code requirements. No Jeans, No T-Shirts, all shirts must have collars and must be tucked in. You can imagine the scandalous atmosphere that arose when the groom’s brother comed strolling down the 18th hole of the Champ course (an internationally acclaimed course and hole to boot) wearing a shirt that says “science it works bitches.” I think that you wearing that shirt definitely is in my top twenty favorite moments from my wedding.

    Also, I’d love to go to Istanbul, but I’ve heard that they charge all americans $100 at customs for a visa to enter the country. Atleast that was the story if you wanted to ferry in from Greece.

  2. Berck Says:

    It would be yet another in the long list of countries to do so. They call it “reciprocity” since that’s what the U.S. charge people to come here.

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