I dreamed last night…

by Berck

that I stole a big trash truck and drove it recklessly around New York City. Like all things, it was Kelsey’s fault. I was visiting him, and thought I’d be nice and take his trash out to a dumpster. The dumpster was full, and there was this dumpster-emptying truck just sitting up the street with the key in it. The truck was bright yellow, which is strange because those trucks are never yellow. (Also worth mentioning because I’ve never understood this whole dreaming in black and white nonsense.) There was too much traffic for me to just reverse the truck the wrong way down the one-way street, so I took off and had to get going pretty fast to merge with traffic and get over to the right lane. I was going to make a couple of right turns hoping to wind up back at the dumpster, but the roads just kept going off into the distance and I couldn’t get back. I kept driving faster and faster and it turns out that driving this truck was pretty difficult… As a result, I ran over quite a few construction barrels and bollards and hurdles and such, so naturally a cop pulled me over. He was pretty annoyed that I was driving so recklessly, so he wrote me a ticket for a surprisingly small amount ($60), and then added on an additional $150 for damage I’d done to the truck, then presented me with a credit card receipt to sign for something like $273. This clearly didn’t add up, but there wasn’t a lot I could say about it, so I signed it. I was only vaguely bothered that he didn’t ask me for my credit card first, but then I remembered that the police already has all of our credit cards anyway. I was at first confused that he wasn’t bothered that I’d stolen the truck, but it turns out that this bit wasn’t a big deal because it was a city-owned truck, and after all, it’s a government of the people, by the people for the people, right? So it was my truck, I just had to pay to fix it for the next guy who might need to empty a dumpster.

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