Is this thing still on?

by Berck

Maybe everyone has stopped paying attention. That’s just as well.

I love that this blog has never figured what it wants to be when it grows up. The entries vary wildly from travelogue to movie review to photo notification to deep introspection. And it’s mine. And I don’t have an editor, so I can do what I want. Or not do, as the case has been lately.

For some time I’ve been focused on the documentary aspect of this spot, forgetting that it’s mine. When Dad died I didn’t have anything useful to say, so I didn’t. But somehow I felt like I needed to say something about it, and soon it will have been a year since he died, and there’s just some cakes on the front page of the blog.

We’re so focused on Monday-Friday followed by the weekends that we lose sight of everything else. This didn’t happen so much back when I was flying. Certainly time still passed without being properly accounted for, but since life didn’t align with a 7 day pattern, it seemed easier to step outside.

When I was in school (this most recent time, not back in the dark oughties), I was focused on a goal that seemed forever away. I do not think that I sincerely believed I would ever acquire a college degree, or that I would ever be at the end. In retrospect, it was two short years. As short as the two years I spent at Mesa, or the two years I spent at the academy, or the 1.5 years I spent learning to fly, or the 1.5 years I spent being a flight attendant.

It was a brief eternity that I only attempted because Joanna said she’d stand by me while I did. Which was important because she’d told me before that I was not allowed to go to school while I knew her. And I did it.

Tonight I was struck by the delightful realization that I had no homework, and did a little happy dance inside. I’ve been doing that for nearly a year now. The lack of homework never gets old for me. Which is why I don’t think I’ll ever go back to school.

I miss flying. I’ve been thinking a lot about making flying make sense for me. I think I’m going to have start flying places that I can’t drive instead of buying tickets. It costs twice as much, but takes about the same amount of time if you consider the time spent switching planes and going through security. If the weather is good. If it’s not, you either alter your plans or die.

One Response to “Is this thing still on?”

  1. nana Says:

    I check in occasionally… just to see if one of you has written.

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