foot hurts swollen top

by Jonah

My foot started hurting on Friday.

 
It got worse over the weekend, and was really hurting yesterday.  Yesterday I wore sandals to work, so I knew it couldn’t be my shoes that were the problem.  Last night, despite taking Aleve all day, it hurt badly, it was hot, and once I took my sandals off, I realized it was quite swollen.  Berck asked why I was limping around. “Because my foot hurts.”
 
“Why?”
 
“I don’t know!” 
 
“Well, take drugs, ice it, and go to a doctor.”
 
“What’s a doctor going to do?”
 
“Tell you to take drugs and ice it.”
 
I decided to save myself a couple hundred dollars and continue taking Aleve and ice it.  There hadn’t been any trauma, so I didn’t see how it could be broken.  I’ve had broken bones, and that’s a very specific type of pain.  Palpitating didn’t indicate any one area of severe pain.  While I iced it, I decided to Google “foot”, “hurts” and “swollen”.  Google suggested adding “top”, and I accepted that, because it did hurt on the top of my foot.  Google knows everything.
 
I’m not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV.  But I have worked in the medical field, and my job as a paralegal in a law firm that does work comp and Social Security disability involves reading lots and lots of medical records.  I also know that doctors hate it when you try to self-diagnose using WebMD.
 
But as soon as I hit enter, Google said I had  extensor tendonitis and directed me to podiatrynetwork.com.  Here’s what it has to say:
“A common area of pain occurs near the middle of the top of the foot, generally a bit to the outside of the foot. In this area of the foot the tendons that go to the toes can become inflamed. This is called extensor tendonitis. One cause of this condition is excessive tightness of the calf muscle. When the calf muscle is tight it places excessive stress on the tendons on the top of the foot that pull the foot upward and against the tightness of the calf muscles. Wearing a shoe with a one-inch heel will help to take the stress off of the tendons on the top of the foot. Aggressive stretching of the calf muscle is also very helpful. Oral anti-inflammatory medications can help.”
 
Wearing heels to cure foot pain seems awfully counterintuitive. I don’t really have a pair of daily heels, or even pumps, so I started stretching my calf.  And today my foot feels a lot better.  I haven’t even taken my night Aleve.
The moral of this story is that aging sucks.  And sometimes Google can tell you the most amazing things.

2 Responses to “foot hurts swollen top”

  1. AA Says:

    This is an elaborate hoax Berck is pulling on you to get you to wear heals. Just wait till he gets you with the medical reasoning for why you have to wear a maid’s outfit…

  2. Jonah Says:

    Tried wearing boots with heels today, but then my toe hurt. I spent most of the day at work in stocking feet.

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