Today was a milestone in my professional life. When I first started working as a paralegal, my boss had me apply to be a notary public so that I could notarize his documents. All you have to do in Colorado is fill out an application on the Secretary of State website saying you’ve read the notary handbook, take a quick test, and send them $10. If you actually want to notarize anything, you also have to buy a stamp. You’re also supposed to keep a journal. I’ve always used cheap spiral bound mini notebooks as my journals and bought the…
My foot started hurting on Friday. It got worse over the weekend, and was really hurting yesterday. Yesterday I wore sandals to work, so I knew it couldn’t be my shoes that were the problem. Last night, despite taking Aleve all day, it hurt badly, it was hot, and once I took my sandals off, I realized it was quite swollen. Berck asked why I was limping around. “Because my foot hurts.” “Why?” “I don’t know!” “Well, take drugs, ice it, and go to a doctor.” “What’s a doctor going to do?” “Tell you…
Organic CDs By Jonah “They’re organic, locally sourced CDs,” said my roommate proudly. “What?” I asked. We were at the farmers market on a Saturday morning. “They’re also artisanal,” he added. “Are they fair trade too?” I asked mockingly. “No,” said Jake, almost condescendingly. “They don’t need to be fair trade if they’re locally sourced.” Jake is harmless but an idiot. He works the graveyard shift at Comcast doing tech support. He makes just about enough to be able to afford a room in my apartment. He survives on mainly frozen pizzas from the freezer section of Whole Foods.…