[August 1995. Exact date unknown.]<\/p>\n
Berck, you may be heating and cooling the whole darn neighborhood.<\/p>\n
I was talking to Jenifer the other day at the kitchen bar thingy. I was
\nin the middle of the story of how I met Eric the Awful for the first
\ntime, when she inturrupts, looks me right in the eyes, and says, “Jonah,
\nyou may be heating and cooling the whole darn neighborhood.” My face
\nfreezes for a moment in a look that has to be as blank as possible
\nbefore contorting into a human question mark as I squeeze out the word,
\n“WHAT?” At this, her deadpan expression shatters, broken by convulsive
\nlaughter. My face still displays an interrogative mask as my mind flips
\nthrough any and all connections to the subject at hand only to come up
\nempty. Then I search the dark reaches of every conversation I’ve ever
\nhad with anyone that would have anything to do with the words she has
\nuttered. Nothing again. After the five seconds or so it takes me to rack
\nmy brain, apply logic, and apply things that have nothing whatsoever to do
\nwith logic, I repeat my inquiry. “WHAT?!” Jenifer cannot speak. An
\nentirely plausible expanation enters my mind and exits through my lips,
\n“Do you have a problem?”<\/p>\n
Though her body is still writhing from under the influence of laughter, she
\nmanages to lift an envelope up to my line of vision. It is a piece of
\njunk mail, advertising something like airconditioner pipes or things of
\nthat sort. Suddenly, with that one motion, everything makes sense, and
\nthe hilarity of my bafflement with absurdity engulfs both of us. Her
\neyes widen to mirror mine before almost closing as we fall to the floor
\nin tandem, laughing too hard to control most bodily functions.<\/p>\n
After we had sufficiently recovered, I spoke to her, “Jenifer?” She
\nturns and give me her whole attention. But I can’t do it. I can’t say
\nit with a straight face. “You may be heating and cooling the whole darn
\nneighborhood!” I manage to exhale between laughs.<\/p>\n
Later when Max came in, Jefiner subjected him to the accursed phrase
\nalso. He got an incredibly puzzled look on his face, mingled with a
\nquizzical smile. His eyes wondered over to a corner of the room as if
\nto aid the search going on inside his head. I knew exactly what he was
\ngoing through. And I couldn’t help but laugh.<\/p>\n
Jonah<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
[August 1995. Exact date unknown.] Berck, you may be heating and cooling the whole darn neighborhood. I was talking to Jenifer the other day at the kitchen bar thingy. I was in the middle of the story of how I met Eric the Awful for the first time, when she inturrupts, looks me right in…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-390","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nonclassified-nonsense"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/390","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=390"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/390\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=390"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=390"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=390"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}