Dementia. Okay. Whatever.<\/p>\n
As some of you may know, my family has added an addition onto our house.
\n Since it branched off of the kitchen area, we decided to enlarge the kitchen
\nand redecorate it while we were at it. I say “we,” but I have very little to
\ndo with the actual decision making process. I just live here. And I didn’t
\nreally do any real work involved in the remodeling. I just suffered its
\neffects.<\/p>\n
In any case, my dad decided to paint the kitchen cabinets white. Since they
\nwere dark wood colored to begin with, this required a good bit of white paint
\nin several coats. He evidently spray painted them first, then went on to
\nuse the conventional brush and roller. That’s all fine and good, except that
\nhe left the door to the living room open. Thus the white paint from the
\nsprayer misted into the adjoining room, coating everything in it with a fine
\nlayer of white paint. It wasn’t very noticeable. It just looked like things
\nwere a little dusty and felt gritty to the touch. Unfortunately, our black,
\ngrand piano was one of the affected items. The good news is that a
\nparticular brand of solvent has been found to remove the paint without the
\nfinish. Incidently, this is the same solvent that allowed my hair to become
\nungunked after a brief period of punkhood. But that is another story.<\/p>\n
The biggest problem presented by this state of events, however, was that
\neverything from the kitchen cabinets had been relocated to the living room
\nwhile the shelves were being painted. This meant that all the bowls, plates,
\npots, pans, measuring elements, and essentially all instruments of cooking
\nand eating were covered in a misting of paint. This perhaps wouldn’t have
\nposed a very large threat… except that the paint was lead based.<\/p>\n
And so our living room is still covered in items from the kitchen which we
\nhaven’t returned because each thing has to be scrubbed thoroughly to remove
\nall paint before being allowed out of quarantine and back to its rightful
\nshelf.<\/p>\n
In the meantime, we’re most assuredly suffering from lead poisoning.<\/p>\n
Sucking on paint chips,<\/p>\n
Jonah<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dementia. Okay. Whatever. As some of you may know, my family has added an addition onto our house. Since it branched off of the kitchen area, we decided to enlarge the kitchen and redecorate it while we were at it. I say “we,” but I have very little to do with the actual decision making…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-409","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nonclassified-nonsense"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/409","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=409"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/409\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=409"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=409"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=409"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}