Kowalski tugged on his hood, adjusting its eyeholes while peering in the rear view mirror. The tip drooped sadly, and the fabric smelled vaguely of Taco Bell. He still hadn\u2019t done laundry, and Laura wasn’t around anymore to iron it. She\u2019d always starch it just enough to stand up straight. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not that he could exactly take it to the dry cleaner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Though honestly, the Korean guy behind the counter probably wouldn\u2019t even blink. He\u2019d just accept it solemnly, hand over the claim ticket with both hands, and bow slightly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kowalski sighed and forced himself out of the pickup. He wasn\u2019t sure he could stomach this again, but he\u2019d already paid his imperial tax through December.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Holding his robes up, dainty as a debutante, to keep them from dragging along the red-clay parking lot, he hurried behind the Deja Vu strip club and knocked on the back door in the assigned rhythm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The door creaked open. Another robed and hooded figure stood waiting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cK.I.G.Y.,\u201d the man said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cA.K.I.M.,\u201d Kowalski replied automatically.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The figure nodded approvingly and swung the door wider. The two exchanged an awkward secret handshake before stepping inside together. Kowalski still hadn\u2019t mastered those.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The strip club\u2019s back room was already crowded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGreetings, citizens!\u201d proclaimed the hooded figure at the front of the room, as though everyone had been waiting for Kowalski before beginning. \u201cHow go preparations for the next mission? Nighthawk Wilson, do we have enough nooses prepared?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The man who had answered the door, Nighthawk Wilson, cleared his throat and raised his voice through the confines of his hood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOur old rope supplier shut down,\u201d he announced. \u201cI\u2019m trying to find another one that carries the thick kind. The really menacing stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI guess all the good suppliers are on the coasts,\u201d the Nighthawk continued. \u201cShipping\u2019s astronomical.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGosh darn it!\u201d proclaimed a robed figure slumped in a wheelchair situated by the back door, his hood on nearly sideways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBut we may have found a supplier in Colorado that can get us quality hemp line for a reasonable price,\u201c continued Nighthawk Wilson, \u201cif we buy in bulk.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAny other updates from the wrecking crew?\u201d inquired the man at the front.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI’ve got the four-by-fours cut for the cross,\u201d another man called out. \u201dBut the lumber really needs a full forty-eight-hour gasoline soak, and gas prices are just so high right now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNot as bad as two years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cStill up a buck fifty from last year.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMother lover,\u201d slurred the man in the wheelchair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kowalski tried shoving his hands into his pockets before remembering, once again, that the robes didn\u2019t have any. He had never bothered to have slits cut into the sides so he could access the ones in his Levi’s. The cheap polyester was making him awfully hot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSchubladen Schmidt, do we have enough in the treasury to cover gasoline expenses?\u201d asked the man at the front of the room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes, Grand Cyclops,\u201d answered Schmidt, \u201cAnd if we need more, I have a private donor I can reach out to.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI should hope all our donors are private,\u201d chuckled the Grand Cyclops In response. \u201cIs there anything else we need prior to the mission in Pastor Washington\u2019s front yard?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kowalski froze.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pastor Washington.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
D\u2019andre\u2019s father.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Suddenly he was back under Friday-night lights: churned turf beneath his cleats, blood where he\u2019d bitten his cheek during that last tackle, sweat running into his eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And D\u2019andre touching his shoulder pad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI gotcha, man.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then D\u2019andre stepping in front of the biggest linebacker Kowalski had ever seen, ready to throw his body between Kowalski and disaster, then glancing back over his shoulder and giving him a nod.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A present day drop of sweat stung his eye under the polyester hood. Kowalski ripped it off his head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThis is wrong!\u201d he burst out. \u201cAll this hate. All this stupidity. All this bullshit!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBaloney,\u201d corrected the old man in the wheelchair flatly. \u201cMalarkey.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Two robed figures hurried to Kowalski\u2019s sides.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cStop talking,\u201d hissed Nighthawk Wilson, grabbing his elbow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe need to get you out of here,\u201d whispered the other man urgently, the one who\u2019d been talking about lumber.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cQuiet, brothers,\u201d boomed the Grand Cyclops. \u201cLet the young man speak.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kowalski swallowed hard. Every pair of eyeholes in the room turned toward him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cShhhhhhhoot,\u201d sighed the old man in the wheelchair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then Schubladen Schmidt stepped forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI believe,\u201d he announced, \u201cthat what Citizen Kowalski is attempting to express is that modern civilization depends upon human rights, democratic values, and the rule of law. In contrast, white supremacy represents racism, violence, and domestic terrorism.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kowalski blinked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah, he thought. That.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Schmidt removed his hood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSaul Schmidt,\u201d he said. \u201cSouthern Poverty Law Center. Guess the jig\u2019s up.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The nighthawk next to Kowalski pulled his hood off next. \u201cChad Wilson,\u201d he said, \u201cMetropolitan Police.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDeputy Hank Savage,\u201d said the man on Kowalski\u2019s other side, pulling off his hood as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Another man removed his hood. \u201cSpecial Agent Skulder. FBI.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One by one, men all over the den pulled off their hoods, revealing their true identities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Grand Cyclops then doffed his hood. \u201cAgent Smith,\u201d he said. \u201cCIA.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe CIA can’t spy domestically,” shouted Special Agent Skulder angrily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBecause violent racism isn’t nearly as bad?\u201d shot back Agent Smith. \u201cIs there anyone here who isn’t a white supremacist?\u201d he added, looking around.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI still am!\u201d announced a still-hooded figure leaning against the back wall of the room, grasping a white cane. \u201cI can’t believe all of you suckers are betraying the pure race!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh, come on!\u201d exclaimed Officer Wilson, \u201cIt’s way past time anyone told you, Blind Dave. You’re Black!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDag nab it,\u201d offered the man slouching in his wheelchair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cReally?\u201d asked Agent Smith. \u201cThere are no real white supremacists here? What about our oldest member, Citizen Burns?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFudge,\u201d answered the man in the wheelchair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHi,\u201d said a figure, removing his mask and lifting a hand from one of the handles of the wheelchair in an introductory gesture. \u201cI’m Vivek Srikarthikeyan, Mr. Burns’ home health aide. I’ve been bringing him to these meetings for years because he really seems to like them. But between the Tourette’s Syndrome and the dementia, it\u2019s hard to tell if he’s really a white supremacist anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDarn right,\u201d muttered Mr. Burns.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHis mother may have taught him to be a racist, but she also taught him not to use obscenities. I’m guessing he’s probably forgotten any real curse words he ever learned.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cJiminy Cricket in a chicken basket,\u201d added Mr. Burns.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Discussions, arguments, and ordinary chit-chat were breaking out around the room. Kowalski made his way to the back door, swinging it open himself. He looked back, and decided he wouldn’t be coming back inside again once he left. He pulled his robe off over his head, leaving it on the ground where it fell, and reached into his jeans pocket for his phone. He might still have D\u2019andre\u2019s number. He started closing the door behind him. He heard one last outburst from the old man in the wheelchair, the only person still wearing an off kilter hood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPoop.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Kowalski tugged on his hood, adjusting its eyeholes while peering in the rear view mirror. The tip drooped sadly, and the fabric smelled vaguely of Taco Bell. He still hadn\u2019t done laundry, and Laura wasn’t around anymore to iron it. She\u2019d always starch it just enough to stand up straight. Not that he could exactly…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5222","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fiction"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5222","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5222"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5222\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5226,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5222\/revisions\/5226"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5222"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5222"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5222"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}