{"id":654,"date":"2006-01-09T22:39:55","date_gmt":"2006-01-10T04:39:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/nachzen.net:8080\/?p=654"},"modified":"2006-01-10T11:30:00","modified_gmt":"2006-01-10T17:30:00","slug":"venetian-blinds-are-slicing-up-the-sun-and-all-the-buttons-in-my-head-have-come-undone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/?p=654","title":{"rendered":"Venetian blinds are slicing up the sun, and the buttons in my head have come undone."},"content":{"rendered":"

I bought a salmon today for less than $8. Yes, a whole salmon (minus head and guts).<\/p>\n

Was it worth going to the Super Wal-Mart? I’m not sure.<\/p>\n

You might get robbed, you might get shot
\nAnd that’s just in the Wal-Mart parking lot<\/p>\n

As I pawed through the freezer, trying to find the smallest salmon I could (I was afraid it wouldn’t fit in our freezer), a little boy came up and tugged at my coat. “Excuse me, excuse me…”<\/p>\n

I turned and gave him my attention. His dark brown hair was cut in a buzz, and his front teeth were crooked. Six? I’m afraid I’m not very good at judging ages. I used to be small. I just don’t remember how small I was.<\/p>\n

“Look at those!” he exclaimed, hanging onto the edge of my coat with one hand and swinging the other toward the tank of lobsters behind us.<\/p>\n

“I’m sorry,” said his mother, looking exasperated and apologetic, but not stopping her excavation at the other end of the freezer.<\/p>\n

“Those are big crabs!” he continued.<\/p>\n

“They’re LOBSTERS!” I replied, grinning.<\/p>\n

“Yeah! And they’ll pinch you with their pinchers! Like this!” He reached forward and pinched the shirt at my tummy. “Pinch pinch pinch!”<\/p>\n

“That’s why they put rubber bands on their hands!” I replied.<\/p>\n

His mother laughed and called him away from me.<\/p>\n

I selected a fish, stuck it under my arm, and went to look at frozen pizzas.<\/p>\n

Actual Fact: The = sign was invented by the 16th Century Welsh mathematician Robert Recorde, who got tired of writing “is equal to” in his equations. He chose the two lines because “noe 2 thynges can be moare equalle.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I bought a salmon today for less than $8. Yes, a whole salmon (minus head and guts). Was it worth going to the Super Wal-Mart? I’m not sure. You might get robbed, you might get shot And that’s just in the Wal-Mart parking lot As I pawed through the freezer, trying to find the smallest…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-654","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nonclassified-nonsense"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/654","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=654"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/654\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=654"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=654"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=654"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}