{"id":750,"date":"2006-09-01T19:29:31","date_gmt":"2006-09-02T01:29:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/nachzen.net:8080\/?p=750"},"modified":"2006-09-02T10:32:26","modified_gmt":"2006-09-02T16:32:26","slug":"now-put-away-your-butcher-knives-and-let-me-save-this-patient-before-its-too-late","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/?p=750","title":{"rendered":"Now put away your butcher knives"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Michele had outpatient gallbladder removal surgery today.<\/p>\n<p>Late this morning I called Penrose Hospital Outpatient Surgery a couple of times to see if Michele was out of recovery yet.  On the second time a nurse asked suspiciously, &#8220;Is this a family member?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve seen enough TV to know that the correct answer to this question is always yes, no matter how true it is.  &#8220;Yes,&#8221; I answered without hesitation.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Okay!&#8221; the nurse replied in a much friendlier tone.  &#8220;She just came out of recovery and is having a little snack.  Are you her daughter?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Who else would I be?  &#8220;Yes.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Well, your dad gave me a phone number to call about 30 minutes before she&#8217;s ready to go home.&#8221;  It was Duncan&#8217;s cell, so I gave her the home line number so she could call me, since I was assigned to pick her up.<\/p>\n<p>THREE HOURS LATER she called back.  Michele had taken a painkiller as soon as she woke up that put her back out again for a nice nap.  &#8220;Gina&#8221; told me to come on down and pick up my mom.  &#8220;If you call us on your cell phone five minutes before you get to the hospital, you won&#8217;t have to wait for us to bring her down.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Traffic was horrendous, being the Friday of a three-day-weekend and raining, and Coloradans having no clue how to drive in the rain.  I called from the Interstate offramp and asked for Gina.  &#8220;Joanna!&#8221; she said, &#8220;I just sent your mom down with one of our nurses.  Thank you for picking her up and for taking such good care of her!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Sure enough, Michele was waiting in a wheelchair when I drove up.  She got into the car by herself without any trouble at all.  &#8220;Hi, Mom,&#8221; I said as we closed the doors.<\/p>\n<p>She rolled her eyes.  &#8220;They told me my daughter was coming to pick me up, and I thought, &#8216;Okay, whatever.'&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Having watched many patients be put under for laproscopies but none wake up, I was amazed at how fine Michele was.  She chatted all the way home.  I was going to help her out of the car and inside, but she marched in without me after telling me where to park the car.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Michele had outpatient gallbladder removal surgery today. Late this morning I called Penrose Hospital Outpatient Surgery a couple of times to see if Michele was out of recovery yet. On the second time a nurse asked suspiciously, &#8220;Is this a family member?&#8221; I&#8217;ve seen enough TV to know that the correct answer to this question&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-750","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nonclassified-nonsense"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/750","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=750"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/750\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=750"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=750"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nachzen.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=750"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}