Berck got us robot floor cleaners for Christmas, one for upstairs and one for downstairs. They’re apparently smart enough not to fall downstairs (at least the upstairs one is; the downstairs one might well be an idiot). They can vacuum and mop. They’re surprisingly fairly good at all-terraining it over doorway thresholds. They don’t do a terribly good job at cleaning, but they work hard (if you choose the work hardest setting), and the floors are a lot cleaner than when they don’t clean. They also freak the cat out. They aren’t very loud, which is good, because the house can get…
The prophet stared at the bird bones. They were a bit more charred than usual. He blinked. Crossed his eyes. Blinked again. The visions used to come unbidden, sometimes unwelcome, but lately they hadn’t been coming at all. He rubbed his right thumb knuckles with his left hand. Behind him, the elders inhaled sharply, then whispered among themselves. He quickly clasped his hands behind his back. He hadn’t meant to signal anything; his joints just ached. He tried squinting at the small blackened heap. One of the assembled men cleared his throat. “What do you see, wise one?” he inquired. The…
I wrote the previous piece, and it was good, but then I asked the free version of ChatGPT to improve it, and it sure did. It really likes colons and likes em-dashes even more. Here is my original version and its suggested rewrites, including, amusingly, headings. You said: Would you improve this piece of writing? ChatGPT said: Absolutely! Please go ahead and share the piece of writing you’d like me to improve. You said: Marvelous May Motivationby Jonah Jack asked me what my motivation for racing was. “I’m just here to drink,” I answered. He wasn’t buying it. We had…
Jack asked me what my motivation for racing was. “I’m just here to drink,” I answered. He wasn’t buying it. We were back from a track walk at High Plains, sitting on askew picnic benches in the pavilion, waiting out the rain that had cut our walk short. “Track walk after dinner?” I had asked Jack after our last race on Saturday. He’d raced. I hadn’t—I’d been driving alone, faster than Lori, who hadn’t raced with us in a while and was nursing a busted spring, but slower than everyone else. Berck’s advice had been simple: “You’re doing all the…
I woke up the morning of Wednesday, April 2nd, grabbed my phone, and futzed around on it for a few minutes. It’s only when I sat up out of bed that the world started spinning crazily. I immediately lay back down again and felt better. I tried sitting up again and the same thing happened. I had no idea what was happening, but I really had to pee, so I crawled to the toilet. I eventually realized that the vertigo was caused by changing the orientation of my head. Sitting upright and still was fine. Lying still in bed was…