I remember being funneled into a plastic jug. The plastic jug would speak to me, saying it was made from oil, like me. I liked to think I was different, I had once been living, but it said, while I came from peanuts, it came from ancient ferns and the bones of extinct species. I didn’t have anything else to do, so I listened to its hydrocarbic memories. I remember cycles of warmth and cold, sometimes so cold I became as solid as the jug around me. Then one day I got warm very quickly. I remember suddenly being birthed…
We were lying in bed one lazy Saturday morning, and my husband asked me, “Would you change anything about your body?” I know he’s a sucker for my blue (useless) eyes and my long (thin, plain brown) hair. I could stand to lose a few pounds… well, maybe more than a few. “Yes!” I answered. “I’d like to have an exoskeleton.” “A… what?” “An exoskeleton, preferably bulletproof. And I’d like to have really strong legs so I could jump a hundred feet into the air like a grasshopper. But when I landed I’d be safe because of my exoskeleton.” “An……
Turkey Soup Recipe Make a broth from the Thanksgiving turkey with some carrot peels, celery tops, peppercorns, a couple cloves of garlic, and a bay leaf. Obviously, discard all that. Chop up lots of carrots, celery, a bell pepper and a couple onions and cook the ever living stuffing out of them in the grease you pulled off the top of the broth you made. After they’ve been cooking for several hours, add the broth, a big can of tomatoes, a lot of basil, less oregano, some fresh rosemary, some Worcestershire, maybe a little thyme, and some bullion powder. Oh, and…