We were lying in bed one lazy Saturday morning, and my husband asked me, “Would you change anything about your body?”

I know he’s a sucker for my blue (useless) eyes and my long (thin, plain brown) hair. I could stand to lose a few pounds… well, maybe more than a few.

“Yes!” I answered. “I’d like to have an exoskeleton.”

“A… what?”

“An exoskeleton, preferably bulletproof. And I’d like to have really strong legs so I could jump a hundred feet into the air like a grasshopper. But when I landed I’d be safe because of my exoskeleton.”

“An… exoskeleton?”

“And compound eyes.”

“What?”

“Wouldn’t it be great to see in 360 degrees?”

“But would they still be blue?”

“Disco, probably.”

“So,” he said, “you’d like to be an insect?”

“I’d also like to be able to eat rocks.”

“Eat… rocks?”

“Yeah, because I’d never go hungry. Rocks are everywhere! But to eat rocks, I’d need to have a funnel type mouth with rotating sets of diamond teeth. You know, to crush the rocks.”

“Rotating… what? How would you talk?”

“Telepathy.” I turned to him, “How about you? Would you change anything about your body?”

He cleared his throat. “I’d like to be shorter.”