Our Dumb Blog

I haven’t had a real meal today. I ate three canned biscuits this morning at Karen’s apt. and then had cake and fruit at the “meeting of the elite,” as I have come to call our Wed. afternoon “class.”

Maybe I should eat something. I feel like I’ve had too much caffeine. I’m chewing my thumbnails to oblivion.. Maybe I should learn to sit and meditate. In fact, that would probably be a good idea.

Greg used to teach ballroom dancing. Which, I suppose, makes him Mr. Perfect. I’m not sure whether he likes to camp or not.

I was at Karen’s this morning because I spent the night at their apt. She talked me into going across the bay last night with her to hear her friend Dana’s concert. I made pesto at the apt. for her and Nicki, who just had an appendectomy last week and is walking kinda slow and having a hard time laughing. Then Greg came over, and we all went over to Fairhope to hear South’s choir. Paul met us all over at the Waffle House over there afterward. That’s what life is all about. Sitting around, drinking coffee and talking. At least, that’s when I’m happiest. Usually. I couldn’t decide what to get to eat, so I ordered a large O.J., coffee, and a chocolate milk. When we got back to the apt., Greg, Karen, and I stood outside and listened to Greg talk about philosophy and life and love. Love is what life is about, you know. We ARE. We exist. We “be.” God is BEING. God is also love. That’s the whole point of everything, to love. To love and be loved. That’s all there is. Everything else is just details. We can talk all we want to about lofty things or not so lofty ideals, but it all comes down to love. Only it gets so confusing sometimes.

I was in the backseat on the way back, thinking about…. something else… not really listening to Karen and Nicki and Greg discuss something. During a lull, Greg turned to me suddenly and demanded, “Why?!” “Because of hormones,” I said, answering the question within my own mind and figuring it wouldn’t be too far from what he was asking, since he’s a self-proclaimed pervert. He nodded slowly and then said, “Yeah, yeah, I guess it is.”

Karen made up the sofa with sheets and blankets for me, and I took out my contacts and laid down blind with my t-shirt and underwear on under the covers. She and Liz and I talked about the evening of philosophical discussion. “Nicki asked me,” Karen said, “‘Why do you and Joanna hang out with Greg?’ ‘I dunno.’ ‘Greg likes one of you,’ Nicki said, ‘and I’m gonna find out which one it is.'” We tried to determine what kinda chick Greg goes for. “Stupid,” said Karen. “But… who would he talk to?” I asked, knowing that Greg HAS to talk to something or somebody. “I think he’s more interested in sex,” said Karen. “Oh, he’s male,” observed Liz. I had to agree. Liz can’t stand the fact that ever sentence Greg utters slaughters the English language. Yet he’s far more widely read and much more intelligent than Karen or I.

He wanted to know where “Bitter Greg” came from. “Maynard,” Karen explained, “It was sort of a first impression thing, like ‘Genius Paul.'” “I don’t want to be ‘Bitter!'” Greg exclaimed back. “What DO you want to be called then?” I asked. “I dunno. How ’bout ‘Cowboy’?”

Last night was the first time Dana had met “Bitter Greg.” Karen thought he would piss her off because he annoys Paul too. “But, Paul likes Greg,” I said. Karen explained, “Yes, Paul likes Greg, but he annoys him at the same time. Just like Paul annoys Greg, but he likes Paul.”

I said “damn” last night in public. I’m feeling bad about it.

Liz and Karen said that Stephen had called me a freak once, which they found quite odd because he usually can’t find anyone admittedly odder than he is. Karen had spent the evening talking about how freaky Liz is, so when we got back, I immediately told Liz that we’d spent the evening talking about what a freak she is. Then Karen had to say that we’d decided EVERYONE was a freak so that she wouldn’t get upset. I didn’t care. I call Liz a freak all the time. I’ve been calling her a freak since first semester freshman year. She says that as long as I’m around, she doesn’t have to worry about looking odd, since there’s someone freakier than her.

I don’t know. I was thinking this past week that Karen and Greg might should get together. But… I think Karen deserves someone better. I mean, Greg’s a great guy and all, but… I dunno.. I tend to get protective of my female friends. I want them to marry Mr. Wonderfully-perfect-kind-gentle-protecting-gentlemanly-supporting non-jerks. Jerks are bad. Though, I have a feeling I’m going to be stuck with one, since I tend to be attracted to abrasive people. I think Karen is taller than Greg anyway. There just aren’t enough Mr. Rights in the world. Why is that? Why do men have to be such jerks?

Sunny called last night to talk to Karen about French and Wes, with whom she’d just had a huge fight. Wes is a poli sci major and a nice enough guy. Well, okay, he’s not nice enough. He makes a good classmate, but they fight too much to be together, in my opinion. I mean, if a couple fights a lot while they’re dating, how can they ever hope to achieve peace in their marriage? I know Sunny isn’t perfect, no one is, but… I dunno.. Maybe I should just chill and let people I know marry jerks.

I’m tired. Spring break is next week. My plan is to read Moby Dick and sleep. Wait, wasn’t that my goal for Christmas vacation?

As I was eating a biscuit in Karen’s kitchen this morning, I looked at the graduation memo on the door of the freezer. It was saying that women should wear dresses that are not longer than the robes, and to wear black shoes. And suddenly it hit me. My Converse High-tops are black! I could wear them to graduation!

Let’s see, I read a bit of Anna today, though not nearly enough. Played Andy at chess backstage instead of reading. I beat him whenever I play white because he’s not used to playing black. We played two games yesterday and two today. We’re 2 and 2. I’m up in the lab till 4 when it closes. Then I suppose I’ll read some more.

I got a 91 on my Con Law test, which is what i was aiming for (considering I didn’t study). But, If i want any room, i guess i really ought to read the cases next time. I HAVE to read the next one because Schaefer assigned me a 2 minute decision on it. Three people did that for the last one, and i fought with them, just because that’s what I do. “There goes Joanna again,” Melissa mumbled in my ear, “throwing wrenches into the machinery.” “Hey, it’s what I do. Makes people think.” “Makes them squirm.” Melissa has decided that we need to buy small stuffed geckos and throw them at people who make stupid comments. Elizabeth just wants to kill them. I don’t really care. I mean, incredibly egotistical as I am, I think everyone’s comments are going to be automatically less intelligent than what I say, so I politely let them say them anyway. Ha ha! Man, I’m so arrogant. It really doesn’t bother me, though…. unless they say something untruthful and then won’t back down when i challenge them.

Yuck, I’ve still got mascara on. I had to go through the whole make up things this morning, and then I’ll have to do it again tonight. I dunno. I wonder if Sunny really DOES enjoy sticking bobbypins into my scalp. We only had one highschool show up today. Theodore. French classes. The other school that didn’t show up was Blount. “The KKK and the G’s.” In our pre-scene argument offstage (“I won’t!” “Oh yes you will!”) Paul said he was gonna say “I’ll bitch slap you, ho,” but since Blount didn’t show up, he didn’t. Allums came, however. The whole theater dept. was abuzz. He doesn’t come to plays. He’s not on good terms with the dept. either.

I just discovered that I’d make a lousy private eye, or any kind of spy
for that matter.

I nailed all my lines except one today during rehearsal (not counting me
few tag lines at the very end of the show), which was very good. I
sucked yesterday, and the two guys who are in that scene were getting
ticked at me. But today, they made more mistakes than I did, which made
me feel better. During rehearsal, while I was waiting around till the
last scene, Andy Watson looked at me from behind the glass door where he
was talking on the phone and said into it, “Joanna’s here, want to talk
to her?” It was Jeremy calling the 800 number to the school to talk to
the people in the theater dept. It was really great to talk to him
again. He’s coming down to see the student performance on the 13th,
which will be cool. I almost told him I sorta kinda missed him. But
instead I handed the phone to Elizabeth.

I have an SGA meeting tonight, which sucks, because we had one last
week. But, we don’t have one NEXT week because of Fat Tu… er,
President’s Day holiday. I guess I’ll have to be here anyway for
rehearsal, but at least I won’t have to get up. I didn’t go to bed till
after 3 last night.. silly me. Got on AOL to get my mail and got paged
by Elizabeth and Karen. They were talking to “steve” this guy in
Delaware, Karen’s “man.” Liz signed off about 2, but I kept talking to
steve. I dunno, that was interesting. He likes to camp, he’s in the
army, and he’s perfectly normal. He kept asking me if I was a guy. so I
gave him the address of my webpage, and told him to look for the topless
photo. I finally got my brief done when he signed off (it was 4 his
time).

My question for the day is “which is preferable, anger or insanity?”
Then that led to a discussion with Melissa and Tracy about whether you
can know if you’re going insane or not. Melissa chose anger because you
can still control it. Tracy chose insanity because you wouldn’t really
know. I dunno. I’m just having a really sucky week so far. I guess it
could be worse.. it can always be worse…

I guess you never really now how much you’ll miss something until you
don’t have it anymore. And you never realize that you CAN do without it
until it’s gone and you’re forced to vary tactics.