My younger nephew Elliott turned 2 yesterday. I know this because I checked my calendar on Sunday to make sure I was doing what I was supposed to be doing about birth control and noticed that his birthday was two days later. So he’ll be getting his birthday present a little late.

But I called him yesterday to wish him a happy birthday. When you’re a 2 year old boy, conversation consists mostly of sound effects. Our discussion went something like this:

Stephanie in the background: “Say hi to Aunt Joanna?”

Elliott: “Hi!”

Me: “Hi, Elliott! Happy birthday!”

Elliott: [Very excited] “Yahyah! Zhoom, smssh”

Me: “Do you have a cake with airplanes on it?”

Elliott: “Cake! Jsheeew, jsheew!”

Me: “Did you go to the zoo today?”

Elliott: “Yahyah! Rrrragh!”

Stephanie in the background: “Did you see tigers?”

Elliott: [Roaring] “RRRRAGH!”

Stephanie in the background: “…and a walrus?”

Elliott: [Slight pause] “RRAGH KAH!”

Stephanie in the background: “…and wolves?”

Elliott: “RRRAGH!”

Stephanie in the background: “What do wolves say?”

Elliott: [Pause and then a very high pitched] “Ooooooooo!”

We “talked” quite a bit more, but sound effects and cell phone static get mixed in together.