As some of you might remember, back in February I was in Phoenix and got a cold that turned into an ear infection. Since I know from history that if I get an ear infection that it won’t go away without antibiotics, I went to a “doctor” at an urgent care center in Phoenix. I filled out all the information they wanted online, which was nice since I didn’t have to so much sign anything in the doctors office. I waited 2 hours, had some of my vitals taken by a nurse, who insisted on doing a strep culture. (This doesn’t make much sense, given that they were going to give me antibiotics for my ear which would cure the strep whether or not I had it. I was in no mood to complain, and after all, I have health insurance.) The doctor was a perfectly nice fellow who spent approximately 90 seconds examining me, said he’d give me antibiotics. The lady at the front desk printed out my prescription and off I went to Walgreen’s. At no point did anyone mention what the visit would cost, what they would be billing my insurance or anything else. Since they never asked me for any money, I figured they didn’t want any. All in all, I wasn’t terribly impressed.

So, a month later I got an EOB from my insurance company. Having done insurance billing for a doctor’s office far longer than I’d like to have, I’m familiar with such things. They’ve apparently gotten more or less incomprehensible, and it apparently doesn’t matter what they actually say anymore.

So, that basically says that the provider billed them for $249, $68.36 of which neither me nor my insurance has to pay simply because I have insurance (but if I didn’t have insurance, I would have to). The insurance company was willing to pay $162.58, which leaves a total of $18.06 for me to pay. Absolutely insanely expensive. At my Dad’s office, back in ’98 or so, I think the visit would have been no more than $140 for a new patient with or without insurance. For something as simple as an ear infection, it would probably been less than $100 for a new patient, and more like $50 for an established patient. Course, my Dad’s office wouldn’t have been open on a Sunday, and he wouldn’t have done a strep culture…

So what exactly was that $249 for? On the back side, the EOB should say. Here’s what’s on the back:

Huh…wha? Who knows. I figured maybe I’d find out when I got the bill from Nextcare for $18.06. As it turns out… not so much:

I challenge you to tell me what the heck I was charged for. I was able to do it only by looking up the ICD-9 codes on the internet. I’m pretty sure that most people wouldn’t even realize that’s an option. I’m astounded that I’m expected to pay for something without even being told what it is I’m paying for. On top of that, $249 for an ear infection???

It gets a little better. I promptly paid them, and the check was cashed on April 14. Yesterday, I got another bill from them dated April 25, stating that my account was now past due, and would I please pay them the $18.06 I owe them. I was tempted to just ignore it, but worried they were going to send it to a collection agency, who I really didn’t want to deal with, I figured I’d go ahead and waste some of my currently ever-so-precious time and call them up. After 8 minutes on hold, they told me that I had already paid the bill and didn’t need to. When asked why they would send me a bill 11 days after my check went through, all they could say was, “It must be a computer malfunction.” That’s a great way to own up to your mistakes. Because clearly computers just “sometimes malfunction” and when that happens, it’s “not our fault.”