Our Dumb Blog

Gee, it seems like forever since I’ve wrote anything noteworthy. Not like I’ve had time to or anything. The last few weeks have seen me at school in class or rehearsal and home completing homework assignments or sleeping. Not much time for anything else, including eating.

But it’s all paid off. The play was great… well, after the first performance. The director was steaming mad after the first one. Fortunately, I was only in the processional in the first part, and so none of her notes (when she yells at us) had anything to do with me. We were supposed to have two performances a day for three days at 9 and 11 a.m. But the 11:00 performance (the one I was supposed to be in) was canceled on Wednesday, the first day. However, a school came anyway after receiving the wrong message, so we ended up doing a show for them too. I was told to go out and take care of the kids and teachers who had come until we were ready to seat them, so I was out there trying to entertain a hundred kids all by myself. Since it was unexpected, the same cast, except for Snow White, performed again. It turned out to be kind of a chance for everyone to redeem themselves.

On Thursday, the next day, my family, along with my grandfather, Nathan, and some other families Mom invited to come, came to see the play. It was my first performance as a dwarf. It went very well. I didn’t forget a single line, and I had a lot of fun. Dad videoed most of it. Afterward, a school that was planning to put on their own production of Snow White, stayed while we showed them how our special effects and make up worked. I caught up with Mrs. Murphree, the director, later and asked if she had any feedback f”or us since we didn’t have a chance to have a meeting after the show.

“You were wonderful,” she said. “I didn’t have any notes.”

Nathan was pretty impressed. “Y’all actually looked like dwarfs,” he said. My transformation into a dwarf was a complicated one. First, I had to put make up on: a base, eyeliner, natural lipstick, and lines under my eyes and around my cheeks to make me look old and fat. Next, I would put on my costume: red baggy pants, a huge light blue shirt, slipper-like brown shoes, lots of padding, and a belt. Then came the facial hair: spirit gum above my eyes and on my face followed by bushy eyebrows and a beard. The plastic nose was next; more spirit gum held that in place. Finally, I’d put up my hair in a stocking to keep it on my head and pull my droopy hat on after that. With a pick in my hand, I looked like a bona fide Bolshevik. My grandfather, who is a semi-professional actor, was impressed that I did all my make up myself.

After it was over, I came home and finished my Religion homework and took it to school. On my over there, I felt my car jerk as I was stopped at a stop light. I looked over and saw a big truck had backed into my right rear fender. I put the car in park and got out. A black man got out of the truck, shaking his head.

“I didn’t expect to bump into you today,” I said to him as he approached. I called the police and my parents and got all that straightened out. The man was pleasant as was the police officer who came. The man offered to take me up to a body shop nearby to get it fixed, but we waited until Dad got there. Dad worked out something with the man, and then we left. I finally got to the school, but all the offices were closed, and I couldn’t turn in my papers. So all that was for nothing.

That makes accident number 6. I had one in New Orleans in August when we went to the aquarium down there. Mom was directing me into a parking space, and I foolishly kept going when she told me to. I just scratched the other car a little bit. The parking lot security guard came over and said he wouldn’t worry about it, so we took his advice and didn’t. I guess that wasn’t really an accident.

So anyway, I’m through with the play until November 12 when Snow Worf and the seven dykes meet Santa Claus at the mall. Now I actually have free time! It’s a nice feeling.

I went to the college Democrats meeting today. Not because I’m a democrat. I went to see Don Womack, the candidate running against Sonny Callahan, our current U.S. representative. I like to take every chance I get to meet the people who are running for office. I went to the room where the meeting was taking place and was greeted by Dr. Schaefer (my political science professor), Dr. Hinson (my history professor), the young man who was attempting to start up the Democrat’s club, and Don Womack himself. That was it. I was the only student who showed up. And I’m not even a Democrat! We listened to Mr. Womack talk about himself for about an hour. At one point, Dr. Harwell, one of the other history professors, poked his head in the door. Dr. Schaefer invited him in. “Oh, no,” he answered.”I do not cross this line. My credibility is at stake!”

“Well, I’m a Republican,” said Dr. Hinsen. “And I’m in here.”

I came to this meeting with an open mind, ready to accept whatever this candidate had to say. But none of what he said made sense. I really got the impression that this guy was an idiot! Oh, well. No candidate should run unopposed. At one point the guy said “Nowback in the days of my grandmother, there were houses that not only did not have bathrooms, they didn’t even have outhouses! Now what the Democrats did is they came along and had outhouses built for all these houses. And to me, that’s what being a Democrat is all about.” I’m serious! I’m not making this up! He actually said this. It kind of makes me think… no, I won’t say it…

We were working on doing our scenes without scripts today at rehearsal for
Snow White. Everyone kept stepping on each other’s lines, omitting lines, and
continuing without them. Part of the problem is that a whole lot of the lines
are the same. Sleepy says “Is it time to go to bed yet?” several times.
Grumpy’s lines alternate between “Bah.” and “Mush.” And all Sneezy ever does
is punctuate the dialogue with sneezes. So it’s very easy to say your line
after the correct cue but in the wrong scene. The script was not written very
well, and that may have something to do with it.

[Date Unknown.]

Well, that was quite a week. And it’s just going to get busier. I’ll have to see if I can find time to chronicle the events that take place.

Stephanie came home on Wednesday. We were all very happy to see her. The crew (Nathan, Eric, and Carolyn) came over as well as the rest of Nathan’s family and Caroline’s mother and two sisters. We met Stephanie at the airport (Nathan skipped his last class to do so) and then came back to the house for supper and a spirited game of Balderdash. Stephanie was so tired that she almost fell asleep during the game.

I tried out and got a part in the University of Mobile’s drama department’s production of Snow White. I was originally assigned a part in a different play being put on during fall break. But when I said I was going to be out of town then, I was reassigned as a lady in waiting in Snow White. The part of Christabel was double cast, which is pretty stupid considering that she only has three lines. On Thursday, however, Mrs. Murphree summoned me into her office and asked if I would rather be Bashful. I said that I thought I was probably shy enough. Just kidding! Actually, I agreed. So now I’ll be Bashful in half of the performances. I’ll also appear at the mall on November 12 when Santa Clause comes. The guy who was originally Bashful couldn’t make it then, so the part had to be double cast. But I’m happy. No, sorry. I’m BASHFUL. I just FEEL happy.

Anyway, rehearsals are going to take a major chunk of my time from now till October 5th when the show opens. It should be fun, though. Now that I’ve got a meaningful part. If I became a theater minor, I’d be pretty much assured a part in any production. But I refuse to do anything but my best, and I if I get a part in any play, I want it to be because of my own achievement. That and the theater minors have to work. As undecided, I don’t. Ha!

Guess that’s about it. Got to get back to catching up on homework and reading assignments now.

I finally found some time for correspondence with a three day weekend and my parents out of town. I’m here alone with my brother Benjamin and waiting until my parents return to clean the kitchen. Here are the chronicles of some of the recent events in my life.

The night of orientation at UM, Nathan and I went to Playfair, an orientation-day-get – together – ice – breaker – sort-of-thing. I had been planning to go to Playfair for a year. I enjoyed it so much the year before that I even gave up attending an Integrity Music album recording to go to Playfair. I was expecting a lot, and I was not disappointed. It was as wild, crazy, and fun as I had remembered it. It was great being in a gym full of people partaking in organized mayhem. The lady who was officiating the whole thing got us to find other people who were born in the same month, then season, then we had to make a circle and do the lap-sit, where we all sat on the lap of the person in back of us. We did other crazy things like back-to-back dancing and giving standing ovations to whoever wanted them. Unfortunately, as we were preparing to begin the back-to-back dance, one couple tripped and fell over, and the girl hurt her arm. We found out later that she had fractured her radius and ulna and had to have metal plates put in her arm. Everyone in the gym sat down and waited, listening to the girl scream in pain, until the paramedics arrived and carted her away. Then we resumed our activity.

When the event was nearing completion, the campus activity board started giving out prizes to various people. At one point the announcer asked three guys to come up to the stage. Once there, they were instructed to sing a love song to a girl on stage. We all laughed and cheered them on. The crowd voted on which guy did the best job, and he got a prize.

Next the announcer asked for three girls to come up to the front. One girl stepped forward immediately. No one else ventured forth, so I made my way to the front. Finally, a third girl was pushed to the stage against her will. Next, the announcer gave us our instructions. We were to sing a love song as well! The guy we were to sing to bounded up on stage. After racking my brain for a suitable song, I gestured to the announcer. “I’m ready,” I said. The announcer stated my name and then handed me the microphone. I took it, waited for the crowd to quiet down a bit, and then started. “Only yooooooooooou,” I crooned. The crowd erupted into hoots, cheers, laughter, and applause. It’s a good thing too, because I didn’t know the words to the rest of the song. I handed the microphone back, and the other two girls sang. Each one did a longer piece than I had (one of them sang And I Will Always Love You, from The Bodyguard) and, admittedly, performed it much better. The crowd couldn’t decide between the two of them, so they tied, each getting a University of Mobile notebook. That was fine with me. I’ve never prided myself on my singing, and I already own a UM notebook.

Later, I received lots of compliments on my “singing.” They put on some music, and a bunch of us started doing the Electric Slide in the middle of the floor, while the rest gathered around to watch us. It was great! Country line dancing without country music! Then the music stopped, and Nathan and I made our way to the door. Suddenly, a frisbee smacked me in the side of my face. “Oh, I’m sorry!” a guy apologized, coming up to me. “By the way, my name’s Joe.”

“I’m Joanna,” I replied, rubbing my jaw.

“Glad to meet you,” he said. “Just think! We would’ve never met if I hadn’t hit you!”

“Pitiful,” Nathan muttered as we walked outside. “He should be using better ways to pick up girls than that.”

It’s good to be back in school. Seeing everyone again and getting back into a routine have been great.

My classes have been fairly good so far. I’m taking Introduction to American Politics taught by my advisor Dr. Schaefer, who me taught Western Civ my first semester. That class is awesome; he is an amazing lecturer.

American History is next. I didn’t think I’d say this about any history class, but it’s boring. I already know all of that stuff. I probably should have CLEPed it.

English (Literary Traditions) is as wonderful as always with my good friend Dr. Allums. That’s the only class Nathan and I share. Right now we’re studying Aeschylus’ _The Oresteia_. _Agamemnon_ is great.

Physical Science, I think, is a waste of time. I know all that stuff and probably could have CLEPed it as well. Oh, well. Labs start Tuesday, and maybe then it will get interesting. The good part is that I know several people in that class.

Intro to the Old Testament has proved surprisingly interesting. The professor has gone into a lot of the history behind the choosing of the Hebraic canon and stuff. I turned in my first required outline of a chapter from the textbook and received an enthusiastic response from the professor, so I feel like I’m on the right track there.

Sports Nutrition is a once a week, one credit hour, activity course. Not a problem.

Finally, I’m taking “How to Pick a Major.” It’s actually quite interesting. First, we had to make out a list of 20 accomplishments that we are proud of, whether they are viewed as important to anyone else or not. Then we had to write essays on 8 of those achievement activities and complete a 30 minute interview with the professor. All those things are entered into a computer program, and then I’m not sure what happens. That’s as far as we’ve gotten.

So, anyway, I’ve been having fun.

I went down to the Sanger (or however it’s spelled) theater this
afternoon. I tried the back door but it wouldn’t open. I walked around to
the side and saw Stephen walking toward me. “Am I glad to see you!” he said.
He couldn’t find anyone who knew anything about anybody that had anything to
do with the play. So we walked around the block trying to get in. Finally we
found an open door. No one was inside except some sweaty construction workers
cutting carpet on the stage. I found a phone and called the theater
department and found out that the bus full of people had just
left. So Stephen and I just sat in a couple of box seats until finally another girl
walked in. Then we went outside and waited by the door to the costume
building. A couple of other people showed up, and then the van came. After
that we all went upstairs to find costumes. I didn’t get mine until everyone
else was ready to leave. It’s a gaudy yellow dress for the procession which
I’m in when I’m not a dwarf. Stephen got his about that time as well. We had
to wait quite a while before anyone was free to help us.