Soviet dictators and stylish cigarette lighters

by Jonah

I took Stalin to school again today.

As she sat down, I softly warned the girl who sits next to me in Modern
Political Theory, “Ellen, don’t scream. I have my mouse with me.” She
laughed. Later on she asked me to come over and show off my pet to this kid
she had with her in the snack shop. Stalin is a pretty popular article.

I showed my new Zippo off to everyone I talked to. That would invariably
spark a, “I didn’t know you smoked.”

“I don’t.”

“Well, why do you have a lighter?”

“Because I asked for one.”

“But, why do you want one?” Then I’d have to go into the whole thing about
how useful lighters are at lighting up dark rooms and setting things on fire.
The smokers would extend their hands and say, “Let me see.” Then they’d
show me different tricks to do with a Zippo. I’ve been practicing some of
them. I can snap my fingers and light it now. I showed off my new found
skill to my family when I got home. My sister rolled her eyes and commented
on how stupid that was.

Jonah (learning new things every day and never realizing college could be
this much fun)

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