Flat Stanley

Flat Stanley came to visti us last weekend. Flat Stanley is a classic children’s book (Mardel carries it) that Berck’s cousin Brian was reading in his third grade class, which sent Flat Stanley to visit 50 States. Here’s the report we sent back with Stanley. (Pictures are in Photographs.)

FLAT STANLEY

State visited: Oklahoma
Date of visit: May 21, 2005
Person visited: Berck and Joanna
Stanley’s Adventure:

Stanley visited us here in Norman, Oklahoma. Norman was named after Abner E. Norman, who had been hired by the U.S. government to survey the Indian Territory (which later became Oklahoma). Norman is the third largest city in Oklahoma, and it is just south of Oklahoma City, the state capital. Norman is home of Oklahoma University.
The permanent population of Norman is about 96,000 people, but it grows during the school year by the 30,000 enrollment of OU.
OU has one of the most successful college football teams (they lost last year’s Rose Bowl after being only one of three undefeated teams in the country). College football is like a religion here. Under the American flag, businesses fly the OU flag instead of the state flag. People all over town have red and white rock gardens in their front yards spelling out “OU;” at Christmas time, there are lots of roofs with “OU” laid out in strings of red lights on rooftops. The team is called “The Sooners,” but no one knows what a Sooner is, so instead of putting pictures of OU’s mascot (a covered wagon) on their cars, people put on upside-down Texas Longhorn insignia (they are OU’s biggest rival team). (By the way, a Sooner is someone who settled in the Indian Territory before the U.S. government officially opened it to settlement.)
We are living here in Norman because it is also the home of the cheapest and fastest flight school in the world. Berck is studying to become a pilot. Oklahoma is one of the best places to learn to fly because this state is so flat with few trees or mountains to crash into. The weather is usually very clear (though it is usually also very windy). When the weather isn’t nice, we tend to have very severe thunderstorms with lots of tornadoes and hail.
Because it’s so windy here, one of our favorite things to do is fly our stunt kite in a park near our home. We took Stanley kite flying during his visit. He wanted to ride on the kite to get a better view, and since he’s so flat, he flew with the kite quite well.

Fire!

Well, something exciting finally happened at work today. And I wasn’t even clocked in yet.

We had a bunch of stuff that we listed on E-Bay last Wednesday because they were having a ten cent listing special. So, of course, all the auctions ended last night. We grossed over $200, which is better than we expected. Anyway, Berck had a pile of packages ready to go out in the mail this morning, so I took them, since he’s got to be at the flight school for flight instructing ground school early all week. I’m always anally worried about being late to work, so I left an extra 20 minutes early to stop by the post office.

That put me getting to work 20 minutes early. Oh, well. I have a book I read during breaks, so I got myself a cup of coffee and started reading.

Just then the fire alarm went off. Our fire alarm is so loud and obnoxious that it MAKES you want to leave the building as soon as possible. So I put my book away in my locker, grabbed my coffee, and headed out the door with all the corporate people fleeing the terrible sound. Out in the parking lot, I heard sirens and saw two firetrucks heading around the corner toward our building’s entrance. Wow, that was fast. And that proves this is not a drill.

The warehouse people came out next. It takes them longer to make their way outside because they have to walk so far. The rest of my moving crew started showing up. One of them was text messaging someone down at the Hobby Lobby end of the warehouse where the firetrucks had ended up. She reported that there actually was real fire. Later we heard that a transformer blew in or near Hobby Lobby’s accounting department. The whole warehouse was going to be without power for the rest of the day.

So Barry sent us all home with instructions to call his answering machine to find out if we’re coming in tomorrow. We’re all supposed to come in at 7 a.m. and pull all day. He told the moving crew not to come in at all.

So I get the day off. Yay! Of course, this may mean I’m going to have to work Saturday.

This is my team leader’s last day before leaving on vacation for a week, and she was supposed to go over with me all my responsibilities while she’s gone. But she told me how to get to a computer document where she wrote up detailed instructions for me. I already know it all anyway, but that’s okay. I had to drive her home because her husband was supposed to swap cars with her, and she didn’t have the keys. (She wasn’t going to need them till that night.) She lives just around the corner from the warehouse.

I’m “helping” Berck pack up E-Bay stuff to ship today. He’s trying to get as much stuff done as he can before his lesson this afternoon. We’ve got to go to Sam’s and get padded envelopes to mail out all the political buttons we sold.

Anyone want an “America Needs Nixon” pinback button?

Actual Fact: Which Western European country has the lowest population growth in terms of births-per-person? The Vatican.

And now it’s hot.

It’s summer here, now. Fortunately, it took its time getting here. It’s currently 96.8F. I’d really hoped that I’d be gone before it got hot, oh well. Yesterday was warm enough I finally hard to turn the air conditioner on. And now it will run until September, or we move out, never cooling below 75 degrees. This is the part about Oklahoma I don’t like.

To Answer Sarah’s Question

To begin with, it’s “bated” as opposed to “baited”. “Waiting with baited breath” is clearly rather nonsensical. You’re waiting with your breath set as bait in a trap?

Bated is an archaic, abreviated form of “abated”. So, “waiting with abated breath,” essentially means that your breath has lessened, or likely stopped, because you’re wracked with nervousness or fear. Essentially, you’re holding your breath.

So another common idiomatic expression, for the sake of consistency, ought to have been phrased, “I’m not going to bate my breath,” when you don’t think something will actually happen.

It’s weird how idiomatic expressions linger in a sort of timelessness when usage has otherwise rendered a form archaic. I suppose it’s because people say them on cue without really thinking about what they mean. Like saying “Bless you” when someone sneezes. Maybe I don’t want to be blessed?

The people of the future will be trying to figure out what “Git ‘er done” means. Actually, forget that– I’m still trying to figure out what it means.

Anyway, keep that breath bated, today is do or doom day. FAA oral exam and checkride in a few hours. Well, unless the weather turns to crap, which looks rather possible. I hope that I won’t suffer from checkrideitis and forget something really stupid like the landing gear.

(And it’s not really potential doom, I’d just have to review whatever I screwed up and do it again.)

April’s almost gone.

And I’m still not a commercial pilot. A bit of a setback– while I passed the oral part of my stage check, missing only a handful of questions, the flight portion didn’t go as well. Mostly because I only had 9 hours in this type of aircraft, and I’d never flown the specific aircraft.

The first part consisted of cross-country testing. I’d planned a cross country, flew it long enough to prove that I can calculate groundspeed and give a time to next checkpoint estimate. Then I’m told to head somewhere else. In this case, my examiner picked a grass strip. While I flew right to it, I couldn’t spot it. I told him that I should be right over it, but couldn’t for the life of me point it out. We were indeed right over it. It looked more like a driveway than a runway. He was happy enough with that, and we arrived over the point within one minute of my estimate.

Then came the maneuvers, which ranged from excellent to mediocre. My lazy eights and stalls were excellent. Steep turns and steep spirals were passing, though not beautiful. I had some trouble maintaining altitude on the entry to slow flight. I didn’t get slow enough on my Chandelles.

Mostly I just felt rusty and uncomfortable. My Eights on Pylons were crap, mostly because I picked points too close together. I also had trouble keeping the plane coordinated, the rudder pedals were all sloppy which just made it hard.

I performed an adequate soft field landing, only I forgot set the prop full forward before landing. After forgetting the same thing during my botched attempt at a short field landing (I turned final too early, wound up too high. Not really sure why…), he decided enough was enough and to head back to Norman.

I feel like I’d probably do fine now that I’ve gotten some flight time. But now I have to wait around for another flight lesson, then another stage check, then a check ride again.

It’s looking like end of July at best before I’m done with everything.

At least it’s not hot here yet. We still haven’t had to turn on the air conditioner. It looks like we’ll have made it through April without it just fine. High today was 72. High tomorrow is 54.