Posts by Jonah

I made supper tonight. Mostly. Michele made meatballs out of elk meat and
then gave me directions for broiling them while she disappeared out the door
to go lifeguarding. When they were brown (approaching carbonized stage), I
dumped them into a pot of spaghetti sauce on the stove and boiled a bunch of
flat noodles. I also slit a loaf of french bread in half lengthwise and
spread it with a mixture of mayonaise, olive oil, parmassian cheese, and
garlic powder.

That invisible pause was me taking the second apple pie out of the oven. Now
I’m tired. Cooking (and then cleaning up afterward) does that to me.

We had elk steaks last night. That was the first time I’d eaten the third
largest indigenous herbavore of this continent. Max and Jefiner got it while
hunting last fall, they could only bring back a hindquarter before a blizzard
set in. By the time they got back, a bear had taken care of the rest. It’s
tasty stuff. Didn’t seem quite as strong as venison.

I went over to the academy today to see if I could view my webpage with Max’s
version of Netscape. We never could connect, but I did get to Geof’s and my
brother’s. Max was pretty impressed with Ben’s. Then I asked him if he
could telnet. He showed me the telnet icon, and I connected to maf, my unix
accounts, and dragon’s lair, where Imzadi, Bigben, and Lorax were gathered.
Max was in awe. “You mean the internet isn’t just the Web?” Now he’s
convinced I’m a computer genius.

I gave Eli a hair cut today. but it’s not totally right. I’ll send this,
since it’s lightning, and fix his hair.

Woohoo! Today I learned how to use Windows without a mouse. Oh, I had a
mouse alright, but I reached the chapter of DOS for Dummies that told how to
do it. Now if I’m ever in a predicament in which I’m rendered mouseless, I
can maneuver successfully around the screen, providing I can remember how.

I also vastly improved the user friendliness of this IBM. I learned how to
change the prompt, so now it reads, “Yes, master?> ”

Heh, Eli just “Ewwww!”ed at Jefiner picking her nose. So Jef wiped it on
him. That brought quite a loud reaction. Nathan and Eli were picking on her
mercilessly a bit earlier. Jef is extremely ticklish around the neck. Ugh.
Now Steph is engaging in chemical warfare.

Eli is dying his hair, or bleaching it, rather. He’s been making periodic
trips to the bathroom to put peroxide on it. Then he comes and asks me,
“Jonah? Is it getting lighter?” He also hasn’t shaved for several days. He
said I’ll have to help him shave it into a goatee. He’s trying to convince
the people at school that this all American, straight kid is plunging off the
deep end. He’s also considering glueing a stud to his ear, even though I
told him if he got it pierced, it would grow back before long. But he enters
the Air Force Academy June 27th, and the least things they can give him
trouble about the better. He’s got a big swim event or something coming up.
Then he’ll shave not only his face but his legs as well.

I just got finished getting the camcorder ready in case Basket decides to
foal very soon. Steph and Jef are supposedly going to check on her every
hour. Horses like privacy when it comes to shooting out babies, so checking
probably is only going to delay the process. The Bremers have never actually
seen a birth, if I understand correctly, and their horses have been rather
fertile. I hope she lets loose before we leave.

Max visited my webpage. He had a problem with the “what I plan to do with my
major: Rule the world” part. “You see,” he said, “that’s impossible because
_I_ am going to rule the world.” “But,” I replied, “it doesn’t exclude
ruling in tandem. It could happen in shifts. One after the other.” “Oh, I
understand. I always assumed that world dictatorships were for life.”
“Well, yes, depending on how long one lives.” “In which case it would be
for life.” “Exactly.” I’m to meet him at the academy to view my page on
Netscape tomorrow at 2:30ish, providing Basket isn’t bringing a new foal into
the world, in which case I’ll call him, and he’ll try to get out of his
meeting.

I guessed the correct answer to the trivia question at Safeway this evening,
so Jefiner and I rented a movie free. It was a chick flick, void of violence
(had a lot of violins in it, however, as Duncan pointed out). Eli and Nathan
left in the middle of it.

I made beigies (light brownies) today with apple sauce instead of butter
according to Michele’s directions. People kept asking me what was in them.
I’d answer, “Manure.”

Eli’s hair is slightly lighter… but nothing drastic. Yet. He’s thinking
about soaking his head in a bowl of peroxide tomorrow.

Heh, I’ve discovered a book here. DOS for Dummies. I started reading it,
but didn’t get beyond the cartoons in the front before AOL finally was ready.

The junk saga continues. Jef, Nathan, and Steph took a JJ Truck load of it
to the dump, only to find that you have to make an appointment, and they
aren’t open on Wednesday. That’s why I was calling JM Disposal, to see if
they could come pick it up. JJ needed to pull the horsetrailer with Kimberly
and Whin inside up to get bred, so we had to empty the junk out of the pick
up and put it in a place where JM could pick it up but where it wouldn’t be
in the way. “Will the propane truck be coming soon?” asked Steph. “Nah,” I
answered, and so we decided to dump it on the little drive leading to the
propane tank. A few minutes later, we’d emptied the old cot, lawn mower,
truck bumper, wire fencing, and other assorted junk onto the ground. Not
five minutes later, the propane truck shows up. I couldn’t believe it. It
can’t come more than once a month. Fortunately, we’d left enough room to get
by.

Heather and Stephanie Stone came by after school today. (Heather is the one
who was in the hospital and unable to walk for a long time last summer.
She’s fine now, which makes me VERY happy to see.) Heather asked me if
Basket was ready to give birth. “Any minute now,” I replied. “Like when?”
“Within the next five minutes,” I said seriously. “Come on. Is she having
contractions?” “She didn’t tell me,” I answered. “Oh, she’ll tell you when
she’s having contractions?” “Yes,” I nodded solemnly, “She’ll say, ‘I’m
having contractions now.'” “Well, is she dialating?” “Why don’t you go look
at her butt and find out?” Sheesh. Some people. See if you’ll get any
information out of me.

Steph, Jef, and Nathan went to Walmart and out to eat at a Mexican place.
I’ve decided that Mexican is my favorite cuisine. But I elected not to go.
I really enjoyed being here all by myself. It’s amazing how much I enjoy
being alone. I loneliest I feel tends to occur when I’m with a group of
people.

Michele just got off the phone with a guy who runs a natural health food
store up in Monument. Nathan, Steph, and Jef went up there to pick up an
order for Michele, so she was calling to tell him they were coming. Then she
added, “When they come in they’ll ask for an order for me; there’s one tall
man and two young ladies. Two of them are from Alabama and one from Georgia.
When they ask, say, “I’m sorry, I don’t speak southern. Could you get
someone to translate for me?” Michele is so evil sometimes.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to do anything I don’t want to do. At least, not
for long.

The trick to life is enjoying whatever circumstance you’re in at the moment.
The best imaginable state of being is going to have a downside, the worst
its benefits, even if they aren’t very apparent. The same with location.
Whether I’m in Antarctica, a tropical island, or New York City, each one can
be a hell or a paradise depending on how I view it.

If you say, “If only…” you’ll never be happy. Happiness is a choice,
someone said, and I’m not sure I believe it entirely. Happiness IS
superficial. But you can’t wait for circumstances to become better, can’t
wish for things to be different. You’ll never be satisfied.

No relationship just “works”. You have to work at it. And I’m lazy.

What good is freedom if you can’t share it with somebody? What happened for
“freedom for the sake of freedom”? Hum? The greatest freedom is giving
yourself totally and irrevocably to someone who loves you more than you could
ever love anyone.

I just spent the last hour or so making brownies, wandering around the house
looking for pencils and sharpening them with my Boogie knife, and talking on
the phone. I seem to be able to sound really professional about things I
know nothing about. The phone rang and Jefiner went to pick it up. “That’ll
be Michele,” I said. When Jef got off, she looked at me in bewilderment and
asked, “How did you know it was Michele?” I grinned slightly. “Psycho,” she
muttered. I called the Bremer’s garbage pick up company because no one else
would. That meant that i had to keep asking everyone else who’d been to the
dump and back what needed to be picked up and why. Then I talked to someone
interested in Wings Like Eagles, even though I’m not going to be working here
this summer and have very little knowledge about this year’s details about
camp. Then Michele called back and asked me to call the highschool where Eli
goes to leave him a message. I used to be terrified of talking on the phone.
When I’m doing it for someone else, though, it’s not too bad.

The rest of the story.

Max asked me as we were in the kitchen, “Jonah, I need your expert female
advice on something.” Before the dubious expression on my face could break
into an audible reply, Nathan lashed out, “Better ask Stephanie or Jenifer.
Joanna’s the wrong person to ask about that!” I laughed because I hardly
consider myself worthy of giving advice on females, not to mention “expert
advice.” Max went on to say that he’d composed a poem to recite while
presenting Stephanie Stone (his date for the ring dance) with a flower, which
I assume is the corsage. He wanted my advice on what he’d written, wondering
if it was too flippant or not. Nathan continued jabbering, saying stuff
like, “Writing poetry will make you like Joanna, and you know how she ended
up.” I told Max to e-mail it to me if he wanted. I found it when I logged
on to send the stuff I’d already written. Steph came over to tell me not to
show it to Jenifer or Michele. I said I wasn’t planning on showing it to
anyone, which I’m glad about because Max seemed pretty uptight in the letter.
Then I think Steph got upset at me when I wouldn’t let her read it. Ah
well. It was a good poem, kinda long, formal like, but funny still. I was
impressed.

Eli and Michele are complaining on the phone to someone about a horse show
that the judges were wrong to Eli or something. I can’t send this until they
get off the phone, and I don’t want to leave the computer because I can’t let
anyone else read this or what I wrote to Max, and I can’t save it either.
Well, I suppose I could save it, but that would require KNOWING how to. And
I’m not really prepared for that.

Never let anyone tell you you can’t do something. Never accept anything as
impossible. If someone says you can’t do something, there may very well be a
reason why they’re saying it that will help keep you out of trouble if you
listen to them. Wisdom and restriction. One supposedly replaces the other.
But geniuses are just people that never grow up, right?

Question everything.

Freak. They finally got off the phone, AOL wouldn’t connect, and now
Michele’s on the phone again.